You see, I have a naturally inquisitive mind, about almost everything, but mostly just mechanics. And, like I said, I don't mean motors, or engines, it's all really simple. I'd like to find out how it all works together to create something that can do more things at the same time than I can in three days. For example, I spent the last three hours up to my elbows in laptop parts, just because I wanted to fit a new RAM card and got sidetracked by the power block (which seems to be broken anyhow). So I guess diagnostics and repair is the best option for me, as I can't design for joke. Jokes can be seen as just a form of entertainment. I think it runs deeper that that, at least with some people. I've found that some people will make a joke to deal with a tense, shocking or saddening situation. Some people simply appear happy to hide depression. I personally just block it all out. I don't let it get too me, and I don't store any anger. This is mostly because I don't harbour any anger towards anybody. Not my parents, not my friends, not even my enemies. It wasn't like that at one point though. It would all get to me, I would harbor anger, and it would build up to the point of no return. And at this point, bad things happened. But mostly to me, I used to be a crying, emotional wreck. I eventually learnt to block it out and rise above it all. Now, the results are plain to see. But I can't judge these results. It's up to other people to confirm my self-image. A lot of people, I have found, have a really negative self-image, and a really low self-esteem. At one point, I did. And I can understand why, having been through most of it myself. But what I don't understand is why none of these people even try to pull themselves out of it when everyone around them is doing all they can to bring their confidence right up. Do they enjoy hating themselves? I know I didn't. And I knew I had to stop. I learnt to ignore everybody, to a point where one of my friends suggested I was arrogant and self-ingnorant. It was at this point that everybody else pointed out that considering what I'd been through, it's strengh of character that keeps me from falling into tears again. And those days, when I would fall down crying in the playground, were the darkest days of my life.